5++++ REVIEW: Futures and Frosting by Tara Sivec

 

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Book 2 in her Chocolate Lovers Series

Synopsis:

Carter, Claire and Gavin have formed the perfect little family. Their friends are getting married and everyone is growing up, maturing and ready to face the future. Or are they?

From bachelorette party hell, porn addictions, dinner roll baseball and botched wedding proposals to finding out everyone’s extended family is chock full of crazy, Carter and Claire begin to question the strength of the ties that bind them. Unfortunately, these ties have nothing to do with fuzzy handcuffs and everything to do with the mounting differences between them.

Will their friends make a mess of things with their inappropriate comments and need to know everything, or will they convince the couple that happily-ever-after sometimes really can start with beer pong?

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5+++++++++ REVIEW:

There are some books you pick up and fall in love with immediately. That was Snacks & Seductions for me…. why I hadn’t read it yet is BEYOND me. Because anyone who starts a story off about how they hate kids and quoting Heathers? Yeah, she’s kind of my hero. So now we’re into the 2nd book, and yes I know these have been out for awhile now – sue me for just now getting around to finishing them. But we’re back in the thick of Claire, Carter & Gavin and their merry gang of foul mouthed friends. But this time things are getting serious. Gavin is actually threatening bodily harm and Claire is starting to wonder if Carter is ever going to pop the question, and if she even wants him too.

All the pure Tara Sivec magic that you loved from the first book is continued through out – the gang is back and getting ready for Liz and Jim’s wedding – while Seductions & Snacks is seriously taking off. Things between Carter and Claire are as ever – ridiculously hilarious because these two can’t communicate with one another – but that’s the best part; we get to read all the insane ramblings in their head and to their friends about what the other person THINKS is going on – because this is what happens in real life. And I was doubled over, in a fetal position crying from laughing so hard. My husband came in more than once wanting to know what i was doing, and then finally sat down and read over my shoulder, giggling along the way.

There is drinking – fouled mouthed foolery – elderly abuse – ceiling fan baseball and meeting the parents. All wrapped up in the most ingenious of stories ever written. The snark, the love of the word vagina are all things that encompass this series – and you will not be disappointed.

And in all honesty now – she even made this child fearing woman actually want to hug a kid – because Gavin, well he’s kind of a big deal. And anyone that can appreciate the Soprano’s at such a young age is pretty impressive in my book. He speaks his mind, all at the embarrassment of his mother – and sometimes pride. He’s everyone’s favorite spawn and I can’t wait to see what else up her snarky little sleeve.

*Favorite Quotes * (This could be a VERY long list)

“London Bridge is in Arizona? When the fuck did this happen? Does London know about this? The queen has got to be pissed”

“I’m going to put corn and hot sauce on your wiener, and then I’ll hit you in the face with it. Hit you in the face with your corny wiener.”

“I love Carter more than I ever thought possible, and he has proven to be the best father a woman could ever want for her son. But I swear to God, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and Christ’s childhood friend, Biff, that if he doesn’t stop waking me up at four-fifty-eight in the morning, every fucking morning, with his buzz saw snoring, I am going to go David Carradine on his ass.”

“Did you see that? The fuck I give. It went that way.”

“Spitters are Quitters”

“You know what happens when you assume things?”
I left out a sigh. “You make an ass out of you and me.”

“No, you just make an ass out of you. Me, I would never be this assy”

“I promise you won’t be disappointed. I will do such a good job you’ll want to bang the shit out of me!” I glance up to see my dad standing behind Jenny looking like he’d rather eat the regurgitated chocolate covered Nutter Butter at that moment than inadvertently hear our conversation. “I just… I’m gonna… my dog has the hungry,” he mumbles before turning and walking away. Jenny lets go of me and watches as he quickly exits the shop. “Your dad has a dog?” I shook my head and let out a deep sigh. “Nope.”

“My mom’s not afraid to punch a kid,” I hear Gavin whisper to Melissa as I take my first step down the aisle.”

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